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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29421396">Jolena's Wish Upon a Star</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingsloth/pseuds/dancingsloth'>dancingsloth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter, Mystic Messenger (Video Game), Space ☆ Dandy, モブサイコ100 | Mob Psycho 100, 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, brief mention of reigen/gojo, it is the worst thing i have ever written, this is a crack fic i made for my friend for valentines</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:35:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,953</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29421396</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingsloth/pseuds/dancingsloth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>this is a crack fic I made for a valentines exchange. it is hilariously bad and i wrote half of it drunk. basically Jolena wishes her anime husbands become real and they do.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jolena/707, Jolena/Dandy, Jolena/Gojo, Jolena/Kurapika, Jolena/Reigen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. For Jolena</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jolena/gifts">Jolena</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=aka+jopena%2Fjalapeno">aka jopena/jalapeno</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>happy valentines jolena, this literally took years off my life. i expect monetary compensation from the amount of mental damage i have experienced.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>at a certain point i couldn't bring myself to edit this so if there's spelling errors just roll with it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once upon a time, in a far far land known as California, a young girl aged like 19  or some shit named Jolena was taking drastic measures. All her life she wished for her anime husbands to be real (sorry they will all be m*n cuz the only women she put down are minors why). She tried many different methods to make her wish come true. She tried sacrificing people to the gods, she tried summoning a demon, she went on craigslist, she even tried to find luck through fortune cookies. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to be working. So she did her research and found out that tonight there was going to be a meteor shower. She knew wishing upon a shooting star was her last chance, and so here she was, at midnight, her hands crossed in prayer, to wish upon shooting stars. <em>Dear algebra toru, please make my anime husbands real. I hate real m*n so please just do me this solid. </em>She went to bed that night with little hope.</p><p>The next morning Jolena was awoken by her mother. “Ayo daughter I got something to tell you.” This was weird because her mom never woke her up in the morning. “I’m actually broke rn cuz I needed weed so I sold you to make some money. Say hello to your new mom.” </p><p>Jolena was shocked. She knew her mom did the drugs but like they were upper middle class n shit so why was this happening to her? As she contemplated her existence, in walked Reigen Arataka (is that even his last name I dont give a fuck), and he dropped a suitcase on the floor. “Pack up hoe, you living with me now.” Holy shit, it really was Reigen, one of her ultimate anime husbands. He was so fine even tho he was a damn con artist. </p><p>“Aight,” she said honestly fine with this 1D situation. She packed the essentials: clothes, toothbrush, and idk lingerie (is she 18? Man I really hope she is or I’m gon be arrested for writing this). Reigen honestly was super fine, his beautiful dirty blonde hair was fluffed up and he was in the classic suit that fit his curves perfectly. He led her to his 2010 Toyota Corolla, not fancy but efficient, and put her suitcase filled with “essentials” in the trunk. </p><p>“Hey, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but aren’t you from a fictional show called Mob Psycho 100?” Jolena asked. Why did she ask this, unless it was someone who just looked like Reigen. </p><p>“Yeah I think I was but then I suddenly woke up in this world I guess. Idk how this shit works, ask god or somethin,” Reigen said, one hand on the wheel like a mfn badass. Jolena just shrugged, going along with it cuz she really wanted to get with this man. As they drove, another question popped into Jolena’s head. </p><p>“Ayo, I still gotta go to school. Are we going to your place first or?”</p><p>“I’ll drop you off at school,” Reigen said. Oh nice, she got that sugar baby status at this point. Reigen dropped her off at college (not high school cuz Reigen is like idk basically 30 we ain’t tryin to get him jailed) and told her he would pick her up after her last class. Jolena walked into her first class, like I guess history, and sat down next to someone she had never seen before. </p><p>The professor walked in and told the class to quiet down. “So your next assignment will be a group project. Please get into groups of two.” Jolena didn’t really have any friends in this class and started to stress. That is, until the person she sat next to tapped on her shoulder. </p><p>“Hey, do you want to pair up?” a familiar voice asked. Jolena turned to face none other than Kurapika from HxH cuz I don’t know his last name. Jolena blushed and nodded her head. “That’s awesome!” He gave that classic cute Kurapika smile and Jolena was immediately whipped. The professor droned on and on, but Jolena was only focused on the notes her and Kurpaika passed back and forth throughout the whole class. </p><p>After her last class ended, Jolena walked to the front of campus to wait for Reigen to pick her up, but she felt something cover her mouth and felt faint. Everything went black, and suddenly she woke up in a car with blackout windows. She started to freak out until she looked to the left to see none other than Gojo in the backseat with her.</p><p>“What the fuck?” she said, even though deep down she was fine with this situation. Gojo turned to her, weird ass blindfold on and that snide smile. </p><p>“Sorry, I apologize for being so rough, but Reigen owes me money, and I’ve decided to hold you hostage until I get what I need.” Yeah this was a totally normal situation. Jolena just decided to go with it cuz Gojo was super hot with the blindfold off and his hair down. Rn he got that Tendou hair which wasn’t bad but we all know it’s better down. He lifted her chin with his hand, that’s kinda hot right? “Such a cute girl, I sure hope nothing would happen to such a lovely face.” Is that a threat? Yeah I guess but it's kinda h word. </p><p>They drove to an undisclosed location, not a secondary location which according to John Mulaney is the worst, but a primary location. I don’t think I’m remembering that correctly but just go with it. “I apologize for this,” Gojo said as he tied Jolena’s hands behind her back, little did he know she was prolly into this kind of stuff. Jolena just sat there as Gojo did idk kidnapper stuff and like talked to henchman I have no clue. Anyways, suddenly the door to the warehouse they were in was kicked open and there was Reigen, Jolena’s mom (?) but also ultimate anime husband. </p><p>“Unhand her you hot sexy fiend,” Reigen said, seeing Gojo standing there. Was he into him? Idk. Anyways Gojo held up his hands in fake surrender. </p><p>“Calm down dude, if you brought the money then I’ll let her go. But it has to be the full amount like promised,” Gojo sneered. </p><p>“How about something better?” Reigen said confidently. All of a sudden Mob from Mob Psycho 100 (not included on husband list but required in this story) burst through the door and used his psychic shit to fight Gojo. While he was distracted, Reigen rushed over to Jolena. “I’m so sorry this had to happen to you.” Jolena secretly was into it, but said nothing as Reigen used his teeth to undo the rope tied around her wrists. When she was free, they made a break for it towards Reigen’s honestly totally normal getaway car. Mob was still fighting Gojo (hey who would actually win in this case? My bet’s on Mob). </p><p>They drove off in the very normal silver toyota corolla and pulled up to Jolena’s new home. “I already brought the luggage to your room. Btw we’ll be sharing a bed cuz I’m honestly cheap and only got one,” Reigen said, leading her to their room. It was one of those 1 LDKs and was honestly decorated very nicely, very chic. Jolena would describe it as minimalist like the californian she is but she knew Reigen was actually just cheap as fuck. </p><p>She placed her luggage down and hopped into the bed, snuggling under the covers. Reigen soon joined her, spooning her from behind. Yeah this was the life. </p><p>The next morning soon rolled around and Jolena had to go to school again (wait just thinking about this now, how old is Kurapika again????? Man he’s a minor too ain’t he I’m gonna be sent to high security prison//edit he’s possibly 19 we might be safe). This time, he said she could walk, since Reigen’s apartment was actually closer to her university than her actual home. She decided since she got ready early, she would stop by the local coffee shop before her first class. </p><p>She walked into the new and popular cafe called RFA I guess. As she walked up to the counter, she noticed a new worker at the cash register. He was kinda hot with like actually red hair and bright yellow eyes. </p><p>“Hi, how can I help you?” he asked, his voice surprisingly low for his appearance. Jolena was taken aback. </p><p>“Uh can i get a mocha please,” she said out of habit, but she didn’t mind what this hottie made her. </p><p>“Sure thing! Can I get a name?” he asked cheerily. His glasses were a weird yellow and black striped pattern, but they somehow complimented him. </p><p>“Yeah, it’s Jolena.”</p><p>“Jolena huh? That’s a cute name ;)” How the fuck did he say the winky face out loud idk. He was like a natural flirt this guy and Jolena was into it. She felt a blush rising to her cheeks, just nodding in agreement as she paid for her drink.</p><p> </p><p>She waited awkwardly by the counter until the man who served her handed her the drink she ordered. Jolena took a chance. “And what is your name?” She half expected him not to answer. </p><p>“You can just call me 707,” he winked as he returned to his position at the cashier. Had he personally made her drink? That was super nice. 707 was a weird ass name tho. </p><p>“If you don’t mind, I’ll call you Seven.” She didn’t give the other chance to respond, instead trying to make herself as much of a mystery as she could. She left and hurried to her first class. Fuck this was the one with Kurapika and she did jack shit last night. After being kidnapped and the snuggle session with Reigen, she completely forgot to start researching. </p><p>She arrived to class and sat down next to Kurapika, who was studiously looking through his notes. “Hey I think I’ve thought of a good idea,” he said much to Jolena’s chagrin (just looked up the definition and chagrin does not mean what I think it means oh well). Cuz she had no fucking clue what to do the project on. </p><p>The professor walked in just then, spending half the time teaching a new topic before letting them work on the project for the rest of the class. Kurapika slowly went over the material he wanted to cover, and Jolena happily obliged. She did jack shit so it was nice he was taking charge. That's what she wanted in a man. </p><p>Anyways, they spent that period just reviewing references and preparing a PowerPoint. Kurapika was really good at schoolwork and Jolena was grateful for how studious he was. He kept making lil quips and jokes about their topic to keep Jolena interested as well. He was kinda perfect, too perfect. </p><p>After class, they exchanged numbers so they could discuss their project outside of class. Jolena made her way to the front gate, prepared to walk home when that toyota Corolla rolled up. Reigen rolled down the window. “Hey bitch (affectionate)  I'm taking you out on a date.” Jolena wasn’t expecting this, I mean who fucking dates their new mom? Idk ig her. Anyways she hopped in the passenger seat, excited to see where he was taking her. </p><p>“I’m dressed in basic ass shit is that aight?’ she asked, suddenly self conscious of her sweatpants and hoodie. </p><p>“Yeah it's fine girl, at this point I expect you to dress like shit,” Reigen said, not taking his eyes off the road. A hand gently rested against her thigh, giving off a different feeling than his words, and Jolena was ecstatic. Was Reigen actually a tsundere?? They drove for a bit, Jolena unsure where they were heading until they pulled into the lot of a fucking Coldstone Creamery. This a basic ass ice cream place and I don’t even know if they got it in the West. but it's happening babey. </p><p>They both exited the car and walked into the shop, Reigen pulling out his thick ass wallet from his thick ass back pocket. Uh where the fuck was I. Anyways, as Jolena walked up to the counter she noticed a familiar face. Who was it? Oh yeah it was fucking Spancy Dandy idk his real name so it’s Space Dandy now. While Reigen was looking at all the topping they offered cuz wow they offered a lot of damn toppings tf is that about, Jolena walked up to where Space Dandy was. </p><p>“Hey hot stuff, can I get that chocolate ice cream with marshmallow and also some of you ;)” I guess Seven was rubbing off on her cuz she learned how to say the winky face out loud. Space Dandy winked back at her and made her shit (god this sounds so bad reading this back, I meant this as he started making her order but it sounds like he made Jolena shit her pants. I guess interpret it however you want). He did the chippy chop they do at coldstone creameries and put it into a lil cup and handed it off to her. REIGEN ORDERED LIKE VANILLA MAN WHAT THE FUCK DOES REIGEN EVEN LIKE is this on his wiki??. Jolena was kinda put off from him literally ordering vanilla like who the fuck orders that unless they vanilla in bed like. </p><p>So she started chatting up the dude working the register. </p><p>“Hey boo you hella cute can I buy you some ice cream?” Jolena asked trying to flirt but she fucking sucked at it. </p><p>“Boi, I literally work at an ice cream place also aren't you here with ur sugar daddy?” Space Dandy whipped out a comb from who knows where and brushed back his mullet. </p><p>“Yeah, but he’s kinda annoying and idk if his dick and money is worth it anymore.” </p><p>“Aight you cute enough, me and the boys going clubbing tonight and you’re invited. Wear the best thing you own and I’ll be sure to do the same,” Space Dandy said winking. I guess he hadn’t learned the art of being able to say the winky face out loud. </p><p>Jolena nodded and headed back to Reigen’s apartment. Now that she was here she realized it was kinda shitty. She thought this b had money. I mean his wallet was stacked. Before she could think things through she decided to voice her complaints. “Yo Reigen, r u actually rich??”</p><p>“What. No, what the fuck gave you that idea?? I literally own a used toyota and can only afford this one bedroom apartment??” </p><p>“Wait but you bought me?? How much did I cost?” </p><p>“To be honest, I just exorcised a ghost haunting your mom’s muscles (he gave her a massage) and she offered you up.”</p><p>“WHAT. Wack.” Jolena was shocked. She thought Reigen had that cash cash money but turns out that was all a lie. Then what were her feelings towards him? Was she really so shallow all her attraction towards him would fade because he wasn’t rich? Yeah. So that night, as they slept in the same bed, she wiggled out of his grasp and started getting ready for da club. </p><p>She pulled on like some short jean shorts and an off the shoulder black bodysuit. She pulled her hair up into a high ponytail, smoked her eyes and added a sharp winged eyeliner, and headed out to meet up with her side thang. </p><p>She saw him outside the bar talking with his friends (I have only ever watched like two episodes of Space Dandy so his actual friend’s won’t be mentioned cuz I think one of them is a rodent) and when he noticed her, he gave a huge smile and a wave. </p><p>“Hey girl, you’re just in time, we about to head in,” Dandy said, pulling her into a side hug, but not letting his hand drop from her waist. This was kinda nice, Jolena going out on the town, not having to worry about school projects or her new living situation. </p><p>Dandy led them thru the back door yeah he had that high status shit goin on. Everyone important in the place knew him, the bouncers, the bartenders, even the dj. This was the good life Jolena was searching for, a life she would never get to experience with broke ass Reigen. </p><p>Dandy brought her out some orange juice bc even in my fic we aint allowed to drink who tf she think she is she like 19 calm down. Anyways they started chattin and then the music started gettin really bumpin. Jolena knew she could buss it down to the beat and went to the center of the dance floor. Dandy merely leaned against the bar and watched her go. </p><p>Yeah this b a college student so she really knew how to get down. She got them hips moving, those arms feelin herself up, and soon the club goers moved so she had the space all to herself to get down. She made eye contact with Dandy on numerous occasions, she really tryin to make this man act up. And act up he did. </p><p>He strolled right up to her, at first guiding their hips together so they could dance facing each other. The club was hot as fuck tho and they was sweatin just from being pressed together. So Jolena was like aight bet and turned around to grind up against him, her back pressing into his chest. Ayo his chest kinda tight tho, how much does this man work out? Bet Reigen wouldn’t be this ripped all he does is fuckin idk go tell his subordinate what to do and be broke. </p><p>So they was dancing together, having the time of their life, Dandy gettin a lil handsy, when a voice disrupted their activities. </p><p>“Bruh you betta got yo hands off my girl before i start actin up.” Jolena turned to see who was talking, and there he was, her new mom, in his pjs. </p><p>“Reigen what the fuck u doin here?” Jolena asked, mans was passed tf out. “Also how did you know I was here?”</p><p>“I’ve got psychic powers, but anyways ice cream man back tf up.” Reigen started inching closer and all the club goers were all watching this juicy shit go down. </p><p>“Ayo, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but this bitch mine,” Dandy said forcefully pulling Jolena against him. Hey this arm kinda holding her tight, to the point she was starting to get uncomfortable. </p><p>“Listen bro you don’t own me. Technically Reigen does, but I am my own woman,” Jolena said, struggling against the hold Dandy had on her. “Can you please let go of me??”</p><p>“Sorry can’t,” Dandy said. “If you want her back Reigen you better pay up. And no tricks like yesterday.”</p><p>Wait wha???? Yeah that’s right. ‘Dandy’ reached up and pulled a face mask off to reveal he was actually Gojo!</p><p>“Holy shit what the fuck?!” Jolena was so taken aback. She was tricked! By this lil ballsy mf! I mean not that she minded that she danced with the Gojo but it was hella creepy to hide his identity like that. </p><p>Reigen rolled up his sleeves and prepared for battle. </p><p>“Wait one sec,” Jolena interrupted this tense moment. “So like, does this mean Space Dandy didn’t become real??”</p><p>“Oh no he’s real, he’s just in space. Didn’t you watch the damn show?” Gojo told her. Yeah that made sense. </p><p>“Aight cool, continue ur stand off.”</p><p>And continue they did. In fact they literally just stared at each other until morning. Jolena fell asleep at one point and woke up when her phone alarm went off. She looked up to see the club had been abandoned, everything swept and cleaned as the two stared at each other. </p><p>“Hey y’all sorry to break it to you, but I have school. Can we continue this later?” </p><p>They paused to look at her before shrugging. “Yeah, meet me back here tonight at midnight. If you’re late I’ll assume you admit defeat and I’ll guess murder Jolena?? Didn’t really think this through anyways see u tonight,” Gojo said and vanished into thin air. Idk how that works cuz his power is like infinity or whatever but just go with it. </p><p>Anyways Jolena headed back to Reigen’s apartment to get ready for class. “Ayo Reigen,” Jolena started, “I’m sorry for like running out on you. Dandy was just hot, and cool, and like lowkey living the high life and I thought that’s what it was gonna be like with you. But maybe the Dandy, I guess Gojo??? lifestyle isn’t worth it. It was fun for the night but...I think I would prefer sleeping in bed with you.” Man that was actually a nice ass apology, Jolena would never do this irl but this is my fic so I say what goes. </p><p>“It’s chill, I mean I literally bought you which irl would be so fucking creepy, but I think we could really have a chill life together. And anyways one day I’m gon get so mf rich so just stick by me.” </p><p>After that surprisingly nice convo, Jolena took a shower and got ready for school and dammit she forgot to do research again. Kurapika was gon kill her. Actually, he seemed too nice to do that, but she did feel bad as he was probably doing most of her work. Not her fault she keeps getting wrapped up into Reigen and Gojo related incidents. </p><p>Anyways, she goes to class and Kurapika gives her a little wave as she enters. It makes her blush a lil, how casual they are now. After fifteen minutes the teacher doesn’t show up, and that weird rule that no one knows if its true or not is put into place and the whole class decides to leave. </p><p>“Do you want to go hang out at a cafe and work on our project? Seems a lot more productive then just going back home,” Kurapika said with such a genuine smile. Man, how could Jolena say no to that smile. So they head to a coffee shop and holy shit its the one Seven works at. </p><p>Jolena unconsciously wishes that he ain’t working today. Yeah she had that talk with Reigen, but that doesn’t mean she’s suddenly closed her options. Kurapika is super cute and nice and if things go further she wouldn’t mind. Seven was goofy and prolly secretly sexy as hell so she’d also be fine with him. But if they meet, that means one of them will lose their potential as a partner since they’ll prolly make Jolena choose. </p><p>Luck was not on her side today, as she immediately noticed that bright red hair when she walked through the door. He noticed her as well and was about to speak up when he noticed the blonde man standing next to her.  <em>Fucking shit. </em></p><p>“Why don’t you get us a table and I’ll order?” Jolena suggested to stop her two other anime crushes from interacting. Kurapika nodded and went to find a nice booth as Jolena went up to place her order. </p><p>“Oh the cute college girl is back! And she brought a mysteriously handsome friend,” Seven cooed, his friendliness a ploy to hide deeper feelings. </p><p>“Yeah we jus workin on a project together, nothing special,” she said, trying to downplay her own attraction towards Kurapika. “Can I get a couple mochas?” </p><p>“Coming right up!” Seven said, once again personally making her drinks. As he slid them over to her, she noticed a message written on hers. In fact it was a number. She looked up and Seven gave her a wink before going back to helping other customers. Man that was smooth as hell. She found herself smiling absentmindedly as she made her way over to Kurapika. </p><p>He smiled when she sat down and handed him his drink, but that smile dropped when he noticed what was written on her cup. “Ah, thanks for this. Um...what’s that?” He pointed to the number. There was no hiding it so she told him the truth. “Oh that’s interesting, didn’t know you and that barista had that sort of rapport.” Kurapika was oozing a feeling Jolena could instantly recognize as jealousy. </p><p>“Oh, it’s nothing! I honestly didn’t know that’s how he felt about me, he’s just someone who makes me coffee orders aha.” Was that harsh? Yeah kinda, but these boys so fine she wanted them as backups. Kurapika seemed to relax at that and the two of them began working away, researching and taking notes and swapping ideas. </p><p>A few hours had passed when someone suddenly sat next to Jolena. She wasn’t expecting anyone and judging by the look on Kurapika’s face, he wasn’t expecting someone either. She turned to face the new presence to find Seven there. </p><p>“Heyp, thought I would join the party! You two were so busy, but I think it’s time for a break!” Seven cheered and wrapped his arm around Jolena’s shoulders. She didn’t have time to think how cute that was, because she was too worried about this display going on in front of her classmate. </p><p>“Excuse me, it’s rude to be over familiar with someone who doesn’t even have your contact in their phone,” Kurapika said, his head tilting so he could look down at Seven. Seven clearly didn’t mind the challenge. </p><p>“Actually, she does! She put it in right away, I watched her,” Seven said. Shit man Jolena was not subtle with these things. Kurapika’s composed demeanor broke first and he turned to look at Jolena in surprise. </p><p>“I thought he was just some guy who makes your coffee?” Shit yeah Jolena was really in it now. </p><p>“Oh? Is that how I’m seen? And you even told me this guy was nothing special.” <em>Reallyyyy </em>in it now. </p><p>“Ah, well you see, it’s um, it’s uh.” Jolena had no way to get out of this situation. So instead of explaining how she actually felt she just fucking ran. Just ran all the way back to Reigen’s apartment (I guess now her home??). </p><p>She paced around the floor thinking of a solution. Yeah her and Reigen had something going on, but he was hot in a musty kind of way, Kurapika was hot in an innocent way, and Seven was hot in his own goofy way. They were all her dream men, how could she just choose? But she knew she had to. So she sent a text out to both Kurapika and Seven and told them to meet up at midnight. It was time to face everyone. </p><p>Its midnight. In each corner is a man. </p><p>“Ayo what the fuck goin on, it’s supposed to be a showdown between me n Reigen,” Gojo said, highly confused about the two new people in the room. </p><p>“Yeah, honestly I’m confused too, who are these people?” Reigen said gesturing to the two younger boys. They looked just as confused. </p><p>“I have called you all here today because I have a confession to make,” Jolena started. </p><p>“You didn’t call us here, I asked you to meet up??” Gojo said, man he’s never confused but right now he sure as hell is. </p><p>“Sorry, I don’t mean to rush, but what is the point of this?” Kurapika said, clearly ignoring Gojo. </p><p>“I actually made a wish a few nights ago that my anime husbands would become real. I honestly wasn’t expecting things, but now here we are. All of you are on my anime husband list and so I’ve been having a hard time trying to figure out who to be with because I like you all. But it’s time for me to choose.”</p><p>All of them looked expectantly at Jopena, except Gojo cuz he came here prepared to fight. 
</p><p>“I choose…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>click through to see the different endings!</p><p>Seven: Ch 2<br/>Kurapika: Ch 3<br/>Reigen: Ch 4<br/>Gojo: Ch 5<br/>???: Ch 6</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Seven!” Jolena suddenly shouted. The room was stunned into silence. She knew in her heart it had to be him. Kurapika was too nice for his own good, she couldn’t go with a man who couldn’t be rough every now and then. Reigen was cheap, and broke, and she couldn’t overlook that because she wanted that sugar baby status so baddd. Gojo tied her up once, and that was all the interaction they had so it couldn’t be him. </p>
<p>No, it had to be Seven. He was cheery and bright and confident and yet she knew darker feelings festered in him, feelings she couldn’t wait to bring into the light to see for herself. Yeah, maybe in the real world, he was just the guy who made her coffee, but she knew with her knowledge from playing his route so many times, there was the possibility of him being something more, something dear. </p>
<p>Seven was shocked to be chosen, but as soon as Jolena ran up to him, he melted into her touch. “Good thing I already have your coffee order memorized,” he laughed and pressed his lips into the top of her head. </p>
<p>“And you aren’t allowed to forget it.”</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Kurapika</h2></a>
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    <p>“Kurapika!” Jolena announced. It was all leading up to this, all those moments whispering and giggling to each other in class, the serious moments of keeping their heads down and doing their work but still being by each other's sides, even this moment right now, this tense moment. She knew it had to be Kurapika, didn't take her long to think about it. </p>
<p>Seven was an enigma. Yeah sure, he was bright and loud and a little mischievous, but he liked to keep himself a mystery and Jolena wasn’t interested in the chase. Reigen had potential, but he could be brutish at times, not taking Jolena’s feelings into consideration. She knew there would be fights upon fights if she chose him. And Gojo, well Gojo literally kidnapped her. </p>
<p>Kurapika was kind and he was caring. He always knew what she needed before she even had the chance to ask. He was observant and calculating and smart. Maybe he was a bit of a teacher’s pet and sometimes so serious to the point he couldn’t joke around, but there was something about all these qualities that made him so enticing. He was like a warm hug on a cold winter night, a sip of hot chocolate and a weighted blanket. </p>
<p>She ran and embraced him, crushing him into a hug. He only laughed and pulled her in closer. “I can’t wait for our study dates, and see what they turn into,” he smirked, and Jolena couldn’t help but feel the same. </p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Reigen</h2></a>
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    <p>“Reigen!” Jolena shouted. It was a no brainer, an obvious choice. Throughout this whole charade, Reigen had been by her side, through thick and thin. Kurapika was kind and gentle, but far too meek for her tastes. She knew that she could only ever see him as a study buddy and nothing more. Seven was haughty and got ahead of himself sometimes. She wanted someone to take the initiative, but Seven seemed to only go at a pace he was comfortable with. Besides, he was just a barista, nothing fancy or special about that. Gojo, well Gojo and her had some intense moments, but that’s all they were: intense. There was some fuel there that could be used to light a fire, but she knew it was only a matter of time that she would end up burning in that relationship. </p>
<p>No, it had to be Reigen. Reigen had proved over this short amount of time they had been together how dedicated he was to her. He took her away from a shitty mother (i mean she’s honestly not bad but like she did literally give her kid away as payment for a massage), rescued her from being kidnapped and tortured, even came back to save her from Gojo’s grabby hands. Yeah, maybe he wasn’t the sugar daddy she was looking for, but that didn’t matter. He was looking for her, looking at her, ready to step up and make the change to be someone she wanted to be with. Plus, he said he was going to get rich in the future, and she believed he could, so her dreams of living in luxury could wait until then. </p>
<p>She ran and Reigen immediately trapped her in a hug. He smelled like ramen and shitty cologne but it was perfect. It was meant to be. </p>
<p>“Let’s go home and make out,” Jolena suggested and Reigen was more than happy to oblige. </p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Gojo</h2></a>
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    <p>“Gojo!” Jolena said surprising literally everyone including Gojo himself. Yeah, maybe to the others it came out of nowhere, but for Jolena this answer was the only correct choice. Kurapika was wayyyyy too nice. Yeah, maybe in the beginning their relationship would be chill, but Jolena needed more than simple cuddles and kisses. Seven had some potential, but he seemed wary to bring it out. Almost like he was afraid of hurting others and to Jolena that was weakness. Reigen had even more potential, but she knew deep down he would never truly hurt her, not in a way that mattered. </p>
<p>No, it had to be Gojo. Jolena could not stop thinking about his hand covering her mouth as she passed out, the way he tied those wrist restraints <em>just </em>right, how his arm felt against her stomach, depriving her of air but giving her a much more raw and intense feeling. One she always craved. One she knew she could experience again with him. </p>
<p>She ran towards him, arms open wide, when he smacked her in the face and she instantly passed out. </p>
<p>“This bitch fucking crazy,” Gojo said and bounced. The rest of the men nodded in understanding and left, leaving Jolena to daydream about doing super duper h word shit with Gojo. </p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. ???</h2></a>
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    <p>“I choose… !” Before Jolena had a chance to say anyone’s name, a sound like a helicopter or plane landing came from above them. There was a loud explosion that caused dust to fill the room and obstruct their vision. The five of them coughed away the debris, and when it cleared looked up to see a fucking spaceship where the roof of the club once was. </p><p>Suddenly, a beam of light shot down and along with it, a familiar mullet headed man. </p><p>“Dandy!” Jolena squealed. She was actually grateful for this circumstance. She thought about her decision for a long time, but it was hard to choose from the men here. To be honest, every time she tried to think of the others, her mind kept wandering to that night where she grinded against Dandy. Yeah, it actually ended up being Gojo, but that didn’t stop her from fantasizing about the space cowboy man. </p><p>“Hey Jolena,” Dandy said, smoothing out his pompadour.</p><p>“Wait, you know who I am?” This was weird, Gojo said this mf was in space, and he clearly was, so how did he know her name?</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve been watching you for a while now. Ever since I appeared with my crew in this dimension, I’ve had this inexplicable pull towards you. Using technology I probably don’t have because the author doesn’t know like anything about my show, I was able to track you down to this planet. I’ve come to confess my love for you and I hope you’ll come join my crew as my girl,” Dandy said as he reached a hand out for her. </p><p>Jolena eagerly grabbed it, ready to spend the rest of her days as a space princess. “Bye suckers!” Jolena called to the men she was leaving behind and started unceremoniously kissing the shit out of Dandy. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>and that's the end. If you aren't Jolena or saiki squad and you read this i am so sorry i will help pay for therapy. </p><p>seriously though Happy Valentines Jolena!! You may be the saiki squad menace but we wouldn't really be saiki squad without one.</p>
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